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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Journal entry 2002 - In search of wonder

Bio-dynamics journal entry 2002-
In Search of Wonder - A lifetimes journey of manifesting dreams through art.

At a key point in my life's journey it came to me that my highest goal as an artist was to paint the Ultimate Vision. (Alex Grey once noted that this kind of inflated sense of purpose or power can be healthy if channeled into a work of art.) Yet it wasn't just painting or animating it that was the true purpose, but to actually see it again somehow that was the enticement. To have another look at the Vision itself. Because the truth is as an artist and explorer, I'm ever hungry for seeing this kind of Intense Visual Stimulation. It feeds me somehow to have experienced it and to know it's still out there somewhere. So it's kind of like as I'm drawing or painting I'm creating my way back to the Vision one stroke at a time. 
Another way of saying all this is that at one point in my search for artistic subject matter I was given a glimpse of something so wonderous, so inexplicable, that I would spend the rest of my life building a world around it and toward it, in order to create a context for it's entry into this dimension. Part galactic mechanism, rainbow vortex, and spiral network, it was beyond anything I've ever experienced on the earth plane. No movie, special effect, or animation has come close to nicking even the bottom of it's littlest toe.... (end part one)